Does restorative justice mean forgiveness?

I agree with you that forgiveness is a personal journey of a person who is victimized, and not something that can be demanded of her/him by anyone else. There is nothing "restorative" or "just" about further abusing a person by badgering her to forgive, implying that she is doing wrong by honoring her feelings.

Thank you, Tina, for your comment. I agree with you. Crime victims cannot be &quot;badgered&quot; to forgive. I think that is why restorative justice is so important. Through processes that allow offender accountability and provide a venue for victims to ask questions of offenders <br />some kind of healing can come. My hope through the work we do is to open the doors wide for all victims to have the option to meet their offenders face to face. <br /> <br />Through direct victim offender dialogue (or circles where the victim and offender and additional family members on both sides meet) offenders can take responsibility for their actions and often express remorse that has never been publicly expressed to the victim. This is meaningful. Victims can express the true impact that crime has had on them. Often this has not been shared and certainly not to the offender in a meaningful way. <br /> <br />In-direct victim offender contact through in-prison restorative justice programmes such as Sycamore Tree run by Prison Fellowship International are also very important. RJI also supports and provides guidance to those who seek to launch in-prison restorative justice programming. <br /> <br />Can forgiveness come for victims? It can and often does. My association tells these stories often and they are a testament to what is possible. But setting forgiveness as a goal for victims by those seeking to &quot;help&quot; them is to us unwise---especially while describing this as part of the restorative justice process. <br /> <br />Lisa Rea <br />President <br />Restorative Justice International <br />~join us at linkedin.com <br /><a href="http://restorativejusticeinternational.com" rel="nofollow">http://restorativejusticeinternational.com</a>

As I read this opinion piece I thought of my children when they were little and the first time I asked my son to apologize to his siter because he hit her . He said, &quot;But I can't Mommy, I'm not sorry yet!&quot; I feel as though the victim of a crime needs time to absorb the hurt, then the anger, before they can forgive. In addition, some victims will never be able to forgive their offender and that is okay too. Each party needs lots of psychological help in order to get o a point where forgiveness may become a reality. Besides, time is all the victim has-let's allow the victim to grieve for what was and then with our help, perhaps the victim may be able to entertain an apology, one day-

I agree. It took me five years. I've known several who forgave almost immediatly. and others whose family still has anger after a second generation. We each have a right to heal in our own way.

Forgiveness, as I see it, is renouncing to harm the offender but not necessarily is renouncing to receive reparation. <br /> <br />Moreover, not renouncing to reparation is giving the offender the possibility of redeeming himself. <br /> <br />Instead of putting offenders in prisons, it would be very much profitable in all ways for victims, society and offenders (in that order) to avoid imprisonment and to set instead harsh reparative tasks. <br /> <br />If this concept becomes clear, this would apply even more satisfactorily for serious crimes - even for terrible ones as voluntary homicides and sexual assaults - than for just petty property offenses. <br /> <br />I see that supporters of Restorative Justice are yet too reluctant to accept that these principles are more important as more important the crime or the caused damage is. <br /> <br />Today we do not need the prison as caution, as electronic devices complemented with strict personal surveillance can replace it. <br /> <br />Prison does not allow easily ways of repairing the damages. <br /> <br />Prevention will not be resented if the reparative work is hard enough. <br /> <br />But the results of reparation obtained by victims and/or society will exist (even some is more than nothing) and the possibility of rehabilitation for offenders would be very much greater, as their stigma will be very much insignificant if prison is avoided and they could be seen as someone who was repairing his misdeeds and paying his debt (even if it is only symbolically possible) but not just doing time. <br /> <br />Thus, why not replace imprisonment with hard (but agreeded) reparative work for all types of crimes? <br /> <br />Only hatred and the need of stigmatizing could be the answer. <br />

I was reading when I tought.. what happens if the victim doesn't want to participate and have a dialogue whit the offender... what can we do about this? what benefit could the victim recieve from the RJ just involving he/she in the process? what considerations we should have when we first meet the victim?

During the Sycamore Tree Project, we encourage a discussion on forgiveness, but we emphasise honesty, above all. In that atmosphere we have all learned so much from those who have chosen not to forgive. <br /> <br />We can't expect crime victims to &quot;forgive&quot; during a RJ encounter anymore than we can expect them to lose or gain 20 pounds. It's a process and a journey as you suggest. <br /> <br />At the same time, I have a view that forgiveness is a spectrum that stretches from &quot;I no longer want to kill my offender in revenge&quot; all the way through to &quot;I forgive my offender and now welcome them as a brother or sister&quot;.