Asking Questions and Speaking the Truth

Thanks for this video from the UK covered by the BBC. Excellent! More and more victims are asking for this option to meet their offenders after violent crime. As was the case with this victim she had questions that only the offender could answer. She got those answers, apparently, which has helped her as she moves on. <br /> <br />She was asked if she forgave the offender. The question is not really pertinent to the process of restorative justice here. If it happens, it happens. But forgiveness is not the goal. What this video shows, however, is that this victim benefitted from the dialogue with the offender. And as she said, she felt the offender benefitted as well. <br />Thank you for posting. <br /> <br />Lisa Rea <br />Founder, The Justice &amp; Reconciliation Project <br />Rea Consulting <br />California, U.S.

I agree that forgiveness is not the goal of Restorative Justice but I was interested when speaking at a conference on RJ in Belfast 2004, that fellow speaker, Judge Barry Stuart from Canada asked the room of delegates what was the most important ingredient of Restorative Justice. Everyone volunteered their suggestions, but no one (including me) guessed what he had in mind. His answer was - in all his many years experiencing conferencing - 'forgiveness'. Perhaps if forgiveness ceases to mean 'excusing an offense' but rather means 'giving up all hope of a better past' - then that makes sense. <br /> <br />director <br />The Forgiveness Project

A victim who is able to forgive is fortunate; we may hope, for their sake, that they will be able to forgive, and we should give them the opportunity. Some people may go some of the way, for example by not widhing the offender ill, even without forgiving him or her. But we should not expect it of them, make it an aim of the process, or suggest to them that they ought to forgive. That could make them feel guilty if they can't.

I know that news headings are often truncated and so not very dependable, but it does seem that there is a lingering implication that this system in Britain is requiring apologies? Of course the victim has a choice in participating but she sounded like 'if I go I know he will apologize, I wonder if it will be sincere?' It was hard to tell if this is the case, does anyone know if the offender is required to apologize? I would think that requiring apologies would be just as problematic as seeking victim forgiveness. I agree that forgiveness and apologies are beneficial, but if the needs of the victim take precedence then we should not provide manufactured apologies and possibly re-offend the victim by creating potentially false expectations for heart-felt apologies. If we push victims into forgiving we may inadvertently cause them to withdraw from the process as they seek to avoid doing something they are not ready to do and then, ironically, they will miss out on the process that would likely lead them to the point where they could forgive on their own. Can anyone point me to the guidelines or controlling legislation for this program?