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Can I cry?

December 10, 2012

I stepped back to think about that one. I considered my own experience and realised that that I didn’t cry. I can’t explain it except for the fact that the facilitator has to maintain control to guide the restorative encounter and make sure it continues to be a safe place for sharing. 

Yet, facilitators receive a lot of emotion from the participants. I’ve written before about the need to process such emotion. I tend to think about this as something done after the restorative encounter. So, what would an emotional display by the facilitator mean for the conference or other restorative process? What impact would it have for the participants?

I don’t know the answer to my questions or the one that the Prison Fellowship leader asked me. In the end, I responded that it all depended on the situation and facilitator. If the tears don’t hinder the facilitator’s ability to watch the group dynamics and be present for the participants, then tears should be okay. But, if the tears get in the way then no it’s not.

It all comes down to how we are present for the participants in the process. I’m still trying to figure out how the facilitator’s own emotions fit into the process. 


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