During this process, I implemented many of the tools I learned from IIRP into â€œCommunity, Inc.â€™sâ€ day-to-day workings. The first tool we focused on was the Restorative Questions. Whenever there was an incident in the classroom in which someone engaged in challenging behavior, that child was asked the five Restorative Questions (What happened? What were you thinking at the time? Who was affected and how? What are you thinking now? What can you do to help those who were affected?) After answering the questions with the help of the support staff (myself and my partner, a mental health worker), the student checked in with the class. This check-in process involved talking about the answers to the questions and then listening to the group as they offered insight or feedback on the situation, including what they wanted to happen to make things right.
An example of this process involved Tony, a student who was deliberately defiant with the staff and intentionally disrupted his peers as they attempted to complete a test, because he had been given a poor grade for failing to complete his homework. As the day went on, Tonyâ€™s behavior became more and more uncontrollable. Even after almost two hours of counseling with his parents, social workers, therapists and teachers, Tony continued to engage in dangerous and threatening behavior until he was taken by ambulance to a hospital to be evaluated.
When he returned to school a few days later, Tony answered the Restorative Questions and checked in with the community. At first he seemed reluctant to check in and was nonchalant about his behavior, accepting only limited responsibility. However, when his peers began answering the other set of Restorative Questions, relating to how they had been harmed, what they had thought about when the incident was happening, what impact it had on them, what had been the hardest thing for them and what they wanted to happen to make things right, it created an emotional outpouring.
Tonyâ€™s peers told him how frustrated they were with his behavior and how embarrassed it had made them. They said they were afraid that their non-disabled peers would view them differently because they were in the same class with Tony, who had been taken away in an ambulance. One boy said he felt unsafe around Tony because of his behavior and because he wasnâ€™t sure how Tony would react to other situations.
The studentsâ€™ feedback left an indelible mark on Tony. He listened, then quietly left the circle to sit in a separate area of the classroom. After a short time, I went to talk to him alone and saw that he had been crying quietly. He said he hadnâ€™t realized how upset heâ€™d made his peers and that he was embarrassed by his behavior. He decided to write a letter to each of his peers, apologizing for how they had been negatively affected. He also made a plan, which was posted on his desk and made known to all, about how he would handle his frustration the next time he was upset and would seek their help to do the right thing. This situation allowed the class to grow together as a community, be more comfortable expressing their feelings aloud, and hold each other accountable while still being supportive and willing to fix harms that occurred.
Read the full article.
Your donation helps Prison Fellowship International repair the harm caused by crime by emphasizing accountability, forgiveness, and making amends for prisoners and those affected by their actions. When victims, offenders, and community members meet to decide how to do that, the results are transformational.Donate Now