Opening the door to forgiveness

Though she was given just a 2 percent chance of living, Millar
survived, launching her on a journey of forgiveness and reconciliation.
In the years since she was nearly killed, Millar has transformed a
relationship with her two assailants to a level of love and acceptance
that is rare in the human experience.

“I can forgive you, but forget it, I won’t,” Millar tells Sussek
during their meeting within the prison walls. “I am legally blind, I am
paralyzed on my right side, but I am healed from my heart.”

For the last thirteen years, Millar has been meeting with Sussek
through a program offered by the UW Law School’s Frank J. Remington
Center, which is directed by Meredith Ross and
faculty director Walter Dickey. Called the Restorative Justice Project,
it allows crime victims such as Millar to meet with the very people
who’ve committed crimes against them. The outcome of each conference is
different. For some, as with Millar and Sussek, an offer of forgiveness
is extended and a relationship begins. Other victims need a way to vent
their anger at someone who took something very personal from them — a
loved one, a sense of safety. Many come seeking understanding or
healing.

… No matter what happens during a meeting — whether or not the offender
takes responsibility, whether or not a victim offers forgiveness —
nearly all conferences end with both sides feeling positive about
participating, says Pete DeWind, a clinical associate
professor at the law school. For the past decade, DeWind has directed
the project, which began in the mid-1980s with meetings between property
offenders and their victims at Oakhill Correctional Institution near Madison. He follows in the footsteps of former directors Dave Cook and Bruce Kittle.

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