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The danger of compromise

February 27, 2012

….As with many stand-offs, large and small, the clock in our home this morning was ticking, and our son seemed deeply entrenched in his position — giving things a simultaneous sense of semi-urgency and semi-hopelessness.

Thus, my husband, with the intention of showing kindness and sowing harmony, offered a compromise. 

….In a world where minutes seem to be a precious resource and conflict happens so frequently, it may seem counter-intuitive to take the time needed to engage in a restorative process in which dialogue is used to hear the needs of each party and the focus is on creative solutions that  “expand the pie” (as Deepak Malhotra says in his brilliant Negotiating Genius text) rather than nibbling away at it.

….Yet, the danger of compromise is that it leaves all parties feeling like their plates are half-empty rather than half full.

The trick, I believe, is to have faith (belief not always based on proof) that a little extra time in the front end (using a restorative process) will wind up saving a ton of time (and pain and disconnection) on the back end — and create solutions that are more sustainable.

But don’t take my word for it. Try it yourself. I don’t want you to feel like you are compromising!

Read the whole article.


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