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The other F word

October 19, 2013

It is taboo, even revolutionary, to consider forgiveness as a component to criminal justice reform, but that’s just what the victims and survivors in my documentary Unlikely Friends are proposing. The film premiers Oct. 21 at 9 ET on Investigation Discovery.

Feeling unfulfilled and even unsupported by the criminal justice system in the wake of a loved one’s murder, each one has sought answers from the one person who irrevocably changed their lives: the killer. They found not only the resolution they were looking for but a human connection that lead to forgiveness and, surprisingly, even friendship.

They also found that by choosing to forgive, they were released from their gut-wrenching pain. In turn, their offenders took accountability for what they’d done, which is the first step necessary for any meaningful rehabilitation.

Mark, a convicted bank robber serving decades for shooting a Wyoming State Trooper says:

“It’d be really easy if he had never come into my life not to have the empathy that I have for him. And as long as he’s in my life, he’s the victim. I remember who got shot — not me… We need the criminals, the offenders, to see the pain that they caused. When they see the pain, it’s really hard for them to do it again.”

The victims in Unlikely Friends aren’t suggesting that forgiveness is for everybody. But what they are asking for is support from the criminal justice system for those who want to try. For some, meeting the person responsible for their pain helps them understand the unfathomable, For those victims fortunate enough to arrive at forgiveness, they ask to not be judged, ridiculed or marginalized by other victims’ groups who focus on punishment alone.

Read the full article.


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